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Understanding Your Baby’s Behaviour and Helpful Ways to Respond

Understand Your Baby’s Behaviour (& How to Respond)

Understanding what your baby’s behaviours mean and how you can respond really helps with their development. Parent Help show us how in this article

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“mum+ Baby –  Expert Article by ParentHelp

Understand Your Baby’s Behaviour (& How to Respond)

Did you know your baby’s senses are used right from the start? Understanding your baby’s behaviours, what they can mean and how you can respond will help with their physical and mental development. Below, we discuss typical behaviours you can expect as a parent in the first year, how you can respond, and some other parenting strategies!

Your baby starts exploring their world from the first moment they are born. Their senses are developing, they are gaining new physical skills, and they are learning how to relate to others. They need to feel safe with the people around them, and to be kept safe from harm. They can’t yet control their emotions or understand logic, so how you respond to them now will make a difference to how they develop these key attributes in the future.

baby behaviour and how to respond

Typical baby behaviours

Wariness of strangers, and separation anxieties in the later stages

Take notice when your baby or toddler is not happy with someone. Ensure they are left only with familiar, trusted faces. Stay with them and help them learn to trust someone new. If possible leave them only briefly at first – they do not yet have a sense of time and need to learn that you will come back. Be very happy to see them when you return.

Crying or throwing a tantrum when frustrated, upset, or ignored


Soothe them, and name their feelings – “I can see you are feeling very disappointed/angry/frustrated right now”. Do not reward undesirable behaviours by giving in, but do cuddle, calm, and distract them. You are helping them to learn how to deal with difficult emotions such as disappointment and frustration.

Praise specific good behaviours and actions. Notice if there are triggers for tantrums, such as tiredness or hunger, and address these by changing schedules or having snacks available.

Biting, hitting, scratching, pulling hair


Remove the child from the situation, firmly say ‘no’ and name the behaviour that is unacceptable, but stay close and help them to calm down. These behaviours happen because your child is not yet able to cope with ‘big’ emotions such as jealousy or anger, and needs your help to learn both self-soothing and appropriate ways to express their feelings and emotions. Stay with them when they return to the situation, and show them how to behave appropriately.

Understand baby behaviour and how to respond

Reaching for and putting objects in their mouths, pulling themselves up on things
Provide a range of experiences with different, safe objects to play with and explore. Ensure appliances and appliance cords, hot surfaces, and dangerous or small objects are not within reach. Put gates across the top of stairs and ensure they are kept shut.

Try not to interrupt the child while they are exploring unless it is unsafe. Exploring is essential for their development, even when it results in bumps and scrapes. They will fall over, but this is how they learn. Try to be sympathetic, soothe and cuddle them, but don’t make too much of a fuss over minor incidents.

Repeating the same actions, saying the same things over and over, curious and keen to interact with you
Allow them to repeat things – this is how they learn. Share their enthusiasm, and introduce them to related ideas and actions. Repeat their words back to them pronounced correctly so they can learn how to say the words, but try not to tell them that what they’re saying is wrong (even if it is).

Fussy and messy eating

Encourage children to try lots of different foods. They may spit things out at first, but keep trying. Cutting things into different shapes can make children more interested in trying things, and letting them ‘help’ you prepare food (put the grapes in the bowl, take the peel off the banana etc) can also make them more likely to try something. Let them start to feed themselves at snack time, and expect mess – they do not yet have the fine motor skills to do this tidily.

Fussy and messy eating

These parenting strategies could help, too

Ensure consistency – children this age are confused by change.

Consequences teach children positive behaviours. Use lots of positive reinforcement and modelling of acceptable behaviours such as sharing and empathy. Say ‘no’ firmly, and remove them from the situation when they exhibit negative behaviours. Provide soothing, cuddling, and understanding to help them deal with disappointment or frustration, but don’t give in to unacceptable behaviour.

Establish routines, especially around meal and bedtimes. Children this age feel safe when they know what to expect, and will settle more easily and eat better if there are clear routines in place.

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ParentHelp

If you have found this information useful and would like to talk with one of our trained telephone support workers, give our free nationwide Parent Helpline a call on 0800 568 856. We are here to talk about any of your parenting concerns. We receive calls about all age groups – from babies to adolescents – and no issue is too big or small.

We have more articles on parenting issues on our website and you can sign up to receive regular emails from us.

Expert Profile: Parent Help

Helping build strong and resilient whānau living free from abuse and neglect

ParentHelp

Parent Help is a Wellington-based charity that has been offering services to families since 1989.

They provide help with all parenting issues from the smallest to the most serious issue of child abuse.

They do this amazing work through their parenting Helpline (free call 0800 568 856), affordable parenting courses and counselling services.

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